21. April 2026

You don't have to live someone else's version of life

Sometimes, I think it’s so easy to look around and quietly start shaping your life around what seems to work for others. The internet is full of people documenting what they do on a daily basis for their wellness etc.

For example, you might see influencers showing photos of their candles glowing in the evening, photos of their morning routines … and it all looks so calming. It looks like something you should want to implement yourself. So, maybe you've tried to recreate it exactly. You buy the candle, you plan a slow morning, you switch on a meditation video and tell yourself, this time it's going to work.

But sometimes, when you’re actually in that moment, it doesn’t quite land, or it feels a bit forced. A bit like you’re trying to step into someone else’s day instead of your own.

And that’s the part that is often not talked about.

I lose count of the communities I've joined, or the videos I've watched to try and feel more relaxed, or calmer. But, I never quite found anything that worked for me. My brain jumps around, I get bored if I try the same video more than once, and nothing helped me when my mind wouldn't switch off.

It was only when I took a meditation teacher training, that I began to learn techniques that worked for me. And what worked for me, might not be what works for you. But for me, living a cosy life helped me to finally chill out, and let go of the need to follow other people's morning routines that I could never get to work for me.

But cosy isn’t one thing. It isn’t a set checklist, it's more like a feeling. And that feeling is going to look different for you than it does for anyone else.

For you, cosy might be a quiet moment with a warm drink, sitting in silence before your day begins, or snuggling with your pet on the sofa watching something on Netflix.

Or it might be something completely different. It might be getting outside early, feeling the fresh air on your face, moving your body and clearing your head. It might be the gentle background noise of a busy home, people moving around, life happening all around you, and somehow that feels comforting.

There isn’t one version that’s "better" or more “right” than another.

The moment you let go of the idea that cosy has to look a certain way, or you stop trying to recreate an image of something you saw online, and start paying attention to how you actually feel, something shifts.

Maybe candles and slow mornings don’t do much for you. Maybe silence feels uncomfortable, not calming. Maybe your version of winding down looks like a short walk, a chat with someone you care about, or even putting music on and dancing around the kitchen.

When you stop trying to match your version of cosy to someone else’s, you start to notice what really supports you. This is where your own version of cosy begins to take shape. And when you start to develop small, simple rituals that feel like yours, over time, they can help you feel more grounded, a little bit clearer, and more like yourself again.

And the more you lean into what works for you, the less you feel pulled to follow what works for everyone else.

If you’ve been trying to find your version of calm, your version of cosy, and nothing has quite clicked yet, it might not be because you’re doing it wrong. It might just be that you haven’t found your way yet.

Inside the Cosy Living Circle, this is exactly what we focus on. Not a fixed routine, not a one size fits all approach, but gentle, bite-sized practices that you can shape around your own life. A space where you can try things, keep what feels right, and quietly leave the rest.

Because your life isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s. And your version of cosy isn’t either.